


go on live your life

by bennybentacles



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Apocalypse, Character Death, Death, Fluff, Gen, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Vietnam War, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 17,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26789299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bennybentacles/pseuds/bennybentacles
Summary: the hargreeves are back on their bullshitbaby!!akamy fics for TUActober 2020
Relationships: The Hargreeves Family
Kudos: 32





	1. DOOMSDAY

**Author's Note:**

> so i am doing this now!!! im so fucking excited. also i am also doing whumptober so i hope you look forward to it.
> 
> and lastly, if you are waiting for my bad things happen bingo entries, don't worry bc im still writing for that too

the world ended once, swallowed whole by the flames, destroyed by the beams coming from Vanya's chest, wrecking everything it touched. 

Ben saw how it ended, watched with horrified eyes as he saw how the same beam that would soon end the world cut his siblings' lifeline, killing them on the spot

he had watched as the same beam intensified while his sister screamed in horror as she realized what she had done.

and he had watched as the powers pooled inside her sister and he could do nothing but only watch as her sister burst into nothingness.

_then the time rewind._

the world ended again. this time different than the last, more destructive, more horrible, more painful.

Ben was left with no memories of the past and he had to watch once more how his siblings got trapped under his sister's beam, but they did not die

a gunshot saved them all. a gunshot ended the world. a gunshot rang as his sister looked up and the beam changed its direction

it had hit the moon. it had burst the moon. the world was going to be in flames, burn them all alive

_then the time rewind._

the world ended once more. this time Ben had the memories of the world burning. he remembers how the moon plummented towards earth and he could only imagine how quick would his siblings die if they did not escape

but the world is still ending. jfk did not die, he signed a nuclear war

he could only watch as the government captured his siblings and made them soldiers. he watched as his siblings were forced to fight a fight long lost 

and when Klaus, his brother Klaus, asked for his assistance, he could do nothing but to help because even though he knows the world is going to end, he might as well help his siblings with its burden

_then the time rewind_

and his world is going to end. the light is grabbing at him, pulling him in, forcing him out. 

he could do nothing but to stop his tears and bite his lips as he talked to his sister

"you are not alone on the table now" he said even though his heart screamed _come with me, accompany me_

he wants to cry. he wants to say goodbye. he wants to say sorry. he wants, _he wants,_ ** _he wants_**

****and he could only smile sadly as he hugged his sister goodbye, hoping that the light would not rip him from the inside

_then the time rewind._

he's not there. he is there. he doesn't know his siblings. he is Ben. he's not Ben. the Ben they knew died three doomsday ago


	2. S1 VS S2

  
Ben was... there. not dead, but not theirs. 

Klaus feels honestly so bamboozled right now. he felt gagged, gooped and pooped. he knows, heard it from Vanya, that Ben is gone. he fucking vanished, went to the light so why is he now in front of him?

"is this some kind of sick joke?" Klaus can't help but to snap at his father, who is not really their father because **surprise!** they're unadopted. _fabulous_

Klaus watched as Ben, number one, not his brother slowly walked forward, echoes coming off him.  
  
Klaus knows that noise. they all know that noise. they run away from that noise. _the horror_. the horror is thrumming inside number one's stomach, and Klaus does not know if this Ben would strike at them with no remorse.

Klaus looked at this Ben, whose face is mangled and all he could see was their Ben, who never had a scar on his face, who never let them hear his monsters, who hid what he does to the criminals that they faced

"you were our brother" Klaus whispered, voice breaking as he looked directly into number one's eyes. "we were once friends" he added, his hands shaking by his side as number one took another step towards them and the horror grew louder

"well i am not your brother now" Ben said. Ben who still had his brothers voice, who talked just like his brother, whose accent stayed the same and Klaus can only take a shaky breath as he stepped a foot back

because this Ben is not their Ben, and this Ben would not hesitate to kill them, end their life in just one swipe of his mighty beasts. "you could be" Luther, the idiot interjected and Klaus can only glare at his stupid brother because he knows how this Ben thinks, knows how number one thinks because he grew up with one

"well i don't want to" Ben quipped, his lips lifting up slightly as he gestured and suddenly the people from above jumped down, and Klaus saw who, or what really consisted of sparrow academy

two girls, four boys including Ben and a cube. the sparrow academy are their dopplegangers. they are them. but not at all. 

these people had wild eyes and crazed grins and bouts of laughter escape their Klaus' mouth. Klaus sees what his other self sees and it is not a laughing matter. 

ghost, ghost everywhere. all of them surrounding the sparrow academy, yelling, begging for mercy and as much as Klaus wanted to just cover his ears and shout, he couldn't. not if he wanted to hear what was coming next 

"what are you waiting for?" their father's voice rang out the whole parlor, his tone commanding as always. "do what i trained you to do"

and Ben lifted up his shirt just as his siblings rushed towards them and Klaus can only do nothing but scream in horror as he ran away while his fist started glowing blue.

his siblings are going to die. Klaus would have to watch his siblings lose their life as he dies again and again and again. he panicked at that thought and _pushed_ , his powers sweeping throughout the room and he watched with glassy eyes as he saw hundreds of phantoms surround the sparrow academy.

"RUN!" Klaus shouted at his siblings, all of them stopping in horror for a second before they all hurried towards the front door, Klaus on their tail. the last thing that he heard before he shut the door was the high pitched shrieks of the sparrow academy, all of them asking their Klaus, number two, to stop the phantoms from attacking them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was so rough it can sand a wood and im sorry for that.
> 
> im on tumblr @bennybentacles so yell at me there


	3. pinky swear

"a pinky swear?" Diego asked, voice quiet as he looked at his mother with flabbergasted expression. his mother is asking him, Diego who is now _nine_ , for a pinky swear. 

"i am too old for pinky swear" he told his mother, his arms crossing in front of his chest, contradicting his point. his mother titled her head to the left and blinked once, twice, thrice to process the information that he had said and Diego patiently waited as his mother tried to think of another way to make him promise not to sneak of to practice anymore

"well" his mother started, her hands patting her knees in a beat only she knows. "if you're too old for pinky swears then..." her eyes whirred and blinked slowly as she tried to think of a solution to the problem she is facing, her face set on a frown

Diego waited patiently, because he knows that his mother is a robot and it may take time to solve their problems. he's fine with waiting, unlike Klaus or Vanya who wanted answer immediately

"then the pinky swear can be mine and Klaus' thing then" his mother concluded, painted lips forming into a smile while Diego frowned in confusion. 

"since you are a too old for a pinky swear then we should just settle on an agreement" his mother continued and Diego sat up straighter, his eyes wide as he turned his mothers words over his head. Klaus and his mother would have _their thing_ while they wouldn't.

"now Diego, because you are a mature young man now, i would expect you to follow the rules" his mother said as she stood up, her eyes not leaving Diego. "sleep well. i would be at Klaus' room so he could pinky promise not to sneak of to Ben's room tonight"

"m-me and Klaus are the same age" Diego blurted out, hands shooting out to grip at his mother's wrist. "Klaus is too old for p-pinky swear too" and he grins at that because he knows his mother won't have a secret thing with Klaus now that she remembers that they are the same age

"well, Klaus is the one who taught me to pinky swear. i'm sure he would still like to do it with me" his mother explain and Diego felt his eyes widened as he quickly made up a rough plan at his head because he can't let _Klaus_ of all people have a secret thing with his mom while he and his mother don't have one

"i will pinky promise too" he rushed out before he regrets his decision and he watched as his mother smiled wide as she sat back down to his bed. "are you sure?" his mother asked and he nodded slowly 

"okay then" his mother said, voice soft as she looked at Diego "do you pinky promise not to sneak out to train anymore?" his mother asked as she presented her pinky finger and Diego slowly lifted his own hand, his pinky finger sticking out.

"okay mom" and he linked his finger with his mother, a small smile in his own face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me writing fluff?? i am shocked too, if you shall know.


	4. prophet

it started with him just wanting to tell one person how the world ended. he just spoke to his savior of how the world got swallowed by the scorching heat and it quickly snowballed into something so big that it began to terrify him

it started with small questions, "what was the future like?" and he would speak of its color and tunes and the wonderful monuments that have been built, talking about it as if he is not sure if they really existed because the people could not know he's from the past. he's pretty sure it was said on back to the future or hot tub time machine.

then people started flocking in, asking for more thing like, "how would i change the world?" and Klaus would be left wondering on how could somebody change the world. 

of course there are butterfly effects and paradoxes. he knows everything should stay the same but he also knows he already changed the timeline by stepping foot on it, what's one advice to just nudge the people to the right direction. "let the spirit come on through you" he had said 

he knows he should've though of it better, should've made a huge speech about the wrong things he had seen but he's nothing more than a mortal who could only think of the present and nothing else. and can you blame him when my chemical romance wrote some good ass lyrics and it would be a crime to not spread their wise words in the sixties

the people brought his words well. too well, he might say even. people began praising him and his wise words, and at first he lived for every attention he got but it got too constricting, too much and he wants it to stop, _just stop_.

"did you see how the world end?" people began asking him and he wanted to sit down and tell them the tales of the end of the world. of how his stupid family brought the world to its knees and burnt it alive. he wanted to scream that it was their fault why the world collapsed and why his brother was trapped in the wasteland for decade. 

but he did not. instead he said something else. "the world, It goes, all troubles on a burning pile" ans he grins sharp at that. 

he is not wrong. but he also quoted a song and it does not make sense in any means but the people still bought it, still gasped in fear and he fears how long he could hide behind this facàde

turns out he could do it for a very long time. he expected to be thrown out in a week, and then a month, and then half a year but now two years in, he is still living a comfortable life

well, as comfortable as it could be with hundreds of people breathing down his neck. " _share us your wisdom oh wise prophet_ " they begged and he winced.

that had became a problem of his too, these people treating him like a god amongst men and he does not want it yet he can't wash it off him. like how he could not wash the blood of his hands that he still sees from time to time 

"Some people hope, Some people pay" he finds it is easier to quote songs that was made in the future, having the work cut for him. Klaus knows it's bad, and stupid, and he'd get caught by someone in a few years but he needed this.

he needs to survive. he needs to live. and he does not want to die so he smiles and quote famous songs and he smiles even if his heart yearns to be free from the burden he has

"how should we go through my boy?" he was asked one night, with him exhausted beyond what he thought was humanly acceptable and he smiles softly as he stared at the high ceiling before him. 

"let the wind take us to our destination" it might be a song lyric or a book quote or maybe Klaus is getting better at spouting bullshits. he really does not know and he hopes it sounds smart enough that he would not get thrown out on the streets because it would suck and Klaus is not sure if he could survive living in the streets in the sixties. he would die in days

"great. i'll have the car prepared. we'll leave tomorrow" _to where?_ he wanted to ask but he felt the sandman slowly grab at him and he could only nod as he slept.

...

Klaus quickly realized that maybe he should've asked where they were going because he could only panic as he saw where the hell he was the moment he woke.

at first it was just LA, then they went to Massachusetts. "the salem thing?" he remembered asking Ben in hushed whisper, eyes wide as he saw how his brother nodded in affirmation. 

then they went to to Virginia, and Wisconsin and the next thing he knows he's on a cruise spouting up song lyrics to hundreds of strangers. " all we do is sit in silence, waiting for a sign" he remembers screaming, his previous point long forgotten yet people only nodded in understanding and Klaus felt like jumping off the ship because these people are in too deep.

Klaus knows that the only way he could escape is if he vanishes into thin air, maybe go back to his _past? present? future?_ honestly time travel is messy and we don't fuck with terrorists

"you need to calm down Klaus" Ben had said at one point, when he had go as far as sneak alcohol into his room and he sobbed suddenly. "i don't want to do this anymore" he had admitted as he cried and he saw Ben take a seat in front of him

"you put yourself into this position in the first place" Klaus felt as if he was slapped in the face. "i did not have a choice!" he screamed, and he saw Ben's lips form into a sneer and he braced himself for the harsh words that his brother would say because this happened way too many times. it happened back in the motel while he is having his chest burned off and it would happen now. _classic Ben move_

"you had the choice! you just chose to go this path Klaus" the thing is Ben is right. he is right. Klaus really dug his own grave in this one, maybe even carved out his own headstone with the way things are going bad so fast. "fuck you Ben" he managed to hiss out before he threw the bottle of vodka

...

he is going to leave. he hated this life, hated having people follow him behind like a bunch of ducklings. _ugly blue ducklings._

he wanted peace, he wanted freedom, he wanted it now. it's been three years since he got dropped from the sky in a flash of blue and Klaus wanted the peace once more.

so he ran. a prayer circle, he had said. it was a stupid plan. a rough plan. he did all of that with no help from Ben because Ben is an asshole and horses are loose in the hospital or whatever. they are both annoying and Klaus wanted to leave 

so he did. he smiled as he gestured up, whistle leaving his lips and he quickly escaped, leaving his followers behind. still whispering a tune that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Klaus ran, leaving behind hundred of people who believed in him, listened to him spouting out lyrics that only he and Ben knew and had worshipped the ground he walked in. the experience was good while it lasted. but he's had enough. what he really wanted was back in Texas and he's about to go to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school is starting tomorrow and i am losing my mind slowly.


	5. the swedes

what is the difference between their job and the 'normal' jobs. both of them are getting paid by the hour, both of them being insured, both of them entitled to medical and emergency leaves. 

if you really think about it, their job is not that different from the other. _except the killing part of course_. but if you really think about it, butchers and farmers do kill too, just not humans

so anyways, a job is a job. it gives them a roof above their head that they barely got to use, money for food and necessities that they don't really have to spend that much because they don't eat that much. they also have a car, a company car that they can't really use that much or else they would be identified easier than if they wore neon clothes with flashing lights. 

it's just a job. everything is just a job. from their chores when they were young and starving in the orphanage that punishes them from their smallest mistake to the cashier job that Axel had for a few moments before he decided to go on a more sinister path.

it was his idea after all. hitman, they were called. at first it was small jobs that barely paid the small apartment that they shared, all of them killing with a rusty machete that they got in exchange of a daylong work in a random farm in the middle of nowhere.

"maybe we should just keep this job until we have enough to buy a house" and they agreed at that. 

but money looks too tempting. and they craved for the screams that they produce, wanted to see blood and guts and brains. "are we monsters?" he remembers Otto asking one night, when they buried their victim far enough and deep enough that it would never be seen by anybody unless they excavate the whole forest.

"maybe" and he grunts. maybe they are monsters. maybe they are lost, maybe it's their calling after all. kill people, he meant. maybe they were meant to be monsters, modeled after the nun that ruined them too young, her whip cutting through their skins, opening old wounds

then they got bigger job. "more money" Axel remembered telling Oscar. his little brother Oscar who never spoke after he got punished by sister Meredith when he was four, never making a sound for the rest of his life and Axel feels his heart break for his brother because Oscar was wild, a boy full of joy, light extinguished so early that it hurts too much. 

their job became more dangerous. they needed long range weapons, needed precision and speed. Axel remembers spending night teaching his brother what he had learned from other people. how to hold a gun, how to clean a gun, how to aim a gun, and how to shoot someone with a gun. "they are dead the moment we know their name"

and that's the truth. the moment they knew somebody, they become lamb waiting for their execution. even if they don't die in their hand, Axel know that they won't last. knows that their name would be spread upon their growing community. after all, what they do is a job and it has many employees

"when would we stop this?" he remembers Oscar asking one night, face pained as tears made its way out of his eyes and mixed with the blood streaked on his skin. "soon" Axel lied

soon was never going to come. he had signed a contract with the temps commision. hired killers, not official employees yet receving the same benefits. Axel thinks it's suspicious but the handler tells him that it is the best job that he could get in the 20th century so he accepted. 

their operation became more upscale. they held guns so big it dwarfed his small brother, whose face became permanently set on a frown and Axel knows that Oscar is mad at him, at Axel and he would never forgive either of them

then they had a job. Five Hargreeves. someone who rebelled against the commision, someone who knows how to kill more ways than any of them could, someone who have a four digit headcount. _8796_

Axel felt scared for his brothers' life the moment he accepted the job. this man, Five, kills without remorse. he has heard of him, heard how his kills were so swift it was mind boggling. but Five is just a one person running away from the commision. Axel knows they could kill him

but then there were more. it was not just Five anymore. he has five siblings, that made them six. and they were just three, three lonely Swedish orphans who never had a choice. "we could do this" Axel remembers telling his brothers, a small smile on his face

and then they couldn't. Oscar died. Oscar wanted to stop, to have a new chapter of his life, wanted to go to college, wanted to have two daughters and a son and now he's dead.

they killed someone. it's not one of the hargreeves but they left a message. one of them ought to understand Swedish. and they would wait for a reply. 

"we should just continue with the job" Otto shook his head but he pointed his gun at his own brother. so they did continue their job, went to the girl's house to finish it and go far away. then the next thing he know his brother is dead beneath his hands and he screams in horror

it was just a job. it was nothing personal, so why did he have to lose them both. why did he have to lose them both so painfully and why did one of them have to die in his own hands. he just wanted them to live a good life, and now there is no more life to have anything in it. 

"its not a job anymore. its personal" he had whispered to the wind before he made his way to the barn to end it once and for all. it doesn't matter if it becomes his end or theirs, he just want it to end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school started and im losing my mind so yeah theres that. also remember when i said i can still write bad things happen bingo? well, i lied.
> 
> gonna cry myself now. bye


	6. farm

maybe she was meant to die in the place where she tried to build herself from scratch. maybe that's her fate. maybe that's her destiny

she saw as the light tried to swallow Harlan whole and she hears how Sissy begged for her son to go back, to come back. "i'm sorry"

maybe she told that to Ben, who had sacrificed his life for her. maybe she told that to Harlan, who she had bestowed her curse. maybe she told that to Sissy. who got caught in the middle of her shitstorm. 

she steps in, not really knowing what she is doing yet somehow she's still alive. maybe she was meant to be alive. maybe she was meant to die. her life has been full of maybes these past few months

gunshots. there are gunshots and she panics because Sissy and Harlan are still in the farm and they would be caught in the middle of a gunfight and she doesn't want that. _she needs_ , needs them to stay alive for her, for themselves, for Harlan.

"go!" i love you, she wanted to say because she does not know if she'll live to see another day. her fate is in the hands of the one attacking them and she hopes she gets to live another day but she also hoped her brother to come home to them and for her other brother to live and she got none of her wishes

she hears nothing. she hears everything. she feels nothing. she feels everything. she opens her eyes and she saw as everything fell apart. she had killed all of them. it should've been the end

but her light was replicated and she felt herself go down as the blast hit her. she's not dead. but she would've been if it had hit her straight on. 

maybe she was meant to die. maybe she was not. she did not care until she saw Sissy without Harlan and she panics because she doesn't care if she dies as long as they both get to live. maybe she doesn't deserve to live.

or maybe she does because the handler is dead and Five looks dead but he's alive. she's sure he's alive but there is a stain in his clothes and his eyes looked too crazy for her to be at peace 

"come with us" she had begged and begged to no avail. Sissy did not want to go to the future. "we'll write," Sissy had promised and she wants to laugh because they wouldn't. she knows they wouldn't and _it hurts. it hurts. it hurts_ but she couldn't force them because that's their choice and they chose to leave her

"i love you" and maybe Sissy realy did. maybe she's just a relief from the pain. maybe she's just a one time thing. or maybe she was really leaving her soulmate behind

"i love you too" maybe she should've said more. maybe she should've told Sissy of the never ending love she had inside her heart. maybe she should've told Harlan about how wonderful he truly is, on how every moment with him is a blessing for her. maybe what she said was enough. she hoped it was enough

she hoped, she wished, she even prays that Sissy knows how much Vanya loved her. how much she had loved Harlan and every moment they had together. she hopes they both know how much they both mean to her. because thats the only thing she can do, hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant remember if the eyeliner in my eyes is two days or two weeks ago and that midly concerns me


	7. team zero

it was a thought that Diego pondered even before they went back to the sixties. what if they tried to be a family, tried to rekindle their dead relationships without their father breathing down their necks.

Diego was holding his phone in his hand, Vanya's number ready to be called when he passed by a bookstore and all thoughts went out of his head when he realized what his sister did. his whole life out for the world to scrutinize. how could she, _how dare she._

he never called the number, deleted it in his phone as he read the book again and again and again, still flinching every time he sees his name. _Diego, my brother Diego, my emotionless brother, ny arrogant brother, Diego._ maybe they did not deserve to be family after all

then their father died and Diego remembered his plans from years ago, thoughts resurfacing in his head and he thinks he may have what he wished for so long. maybe this time he would get it, maybe this time now that his father is dead he could have the family that he wish to have

but everything went to shit quickly. the moment Luther decided to turn off his mother, Diego knows he may never have the family he always wanted because that is his mother and no matter how much he cares for his siblings, he still loves his mother the most

things happened. they fucked up so badly that the world is ending and suddenly Five is taking them somewhere, anywhere, just far away from the burning embers of the moon rocks hurling towards earth

he landed on 1963 with no one by his side and he panics for a second because _where are his siblings? he needs them?_ wants to know is they are safe. but he couldn't but he could save lives,thats what he does. 

"you've got to be shitting me" Diego found himself muttering as he was arrested only days later

attempted murder. he was charged for attempt murder just because he has more than a hundred knives strapped towards his body. also because he tried to kill someone but thats beside the point. 

they think he's unstable. he's deranged. unhinged and he got thrown into a mental institution where he met people, some of them more decent than the people he met outside

life moves one. he adjusted as well as he could. which means he never really did. he hopes his siblings are safe, if not then at least still breathing.

then Five came. his brother is alive and if Diego wasn't trying to prove his sanity he would've jumped up and down in joy even if its so unlike him because he had thought that he was the only one alive and he'll have to grow old alone.

 _surprise_ , Five doesn't get him. the bastard snitched and Diego was left without a choice but to escape on his own. well, maybe not on his own.

he wanted to see his sibling. he feels ridiculous if he's really being honest. Diego knows that he never expressed his love towards his siblings and he's starting right now, at thirty. 

but that's all he wanted all his life, to have a family, to tell them he loves all of them. if Vanya haven't written her book then maybe Diego would've got that. but she did, and he never got what he wanted.

the world is still going to end. Diego realized the world is going to end once Five started gathering everybody, planning, scheming and Diego felt fear in his body because what if, what if he never got the chance to have the family that he so desperately craved ever since he was just a little kid

so with hands shaking slightly, Diego slowly lowered down his walls. attempting to have the family that he always wanted. "there is no more numbers. no umbrella academy. from now on we are team zero" 

that did not come out right and yet, even as his siblings teased him. he knows they got his message clearly. they are not soldiers anymore, they are now a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does this hit the prompt? barely but hey i havent slept for fourty hours now and i think im tasting colors


	8. reunion

"maybe its not so bad after all" Ben said the moment Klaus' gaze snapped into him and he could only roll his eyes as Klaus let out a sigh.

"what do you know Ben? you're not the one who has to do all the small talks and receive the _judgy stares_ " Ben only blew raspberries at his brother because the thing is he's right yet also if Klaus would just show him to his siblings then he wouldn't have to bear the small talks alone

  
but he fucked up. he called Dave Klaus' Vietnam fling and he knows it's bad when Klaus did not quip some random bullshits back at him

so here is he now. _jail time_. or whatever the hell this weird cold shoulders while still talking to him that Klaus is doing. honestly Ben is kind of tired of his brother's shit

"well maybe-" Ben started, grin stretched over his lips and Klaus only glared at him. "maybe i would if you haven't been a little shit since that day at the bar"

and ben can only sigh at that

....  
they met each other and it was _fine_. well not fine, Ben is pissed at his _pissy brother. his stupid ass idiot petty brother_ who is looking at him with mocking gaze and he is a second away from smacking his stupid ass face-

"i hate you" he whispers to Klaus as he passed by his chair even though nobody could hear him. he's all for the theatrics 

he hears Klaus mask his laughter with some bullshit words and Ben pouts, eyes moving as he listen to his siblings banter once more because they are Hargreeves and that's the only form of communication that they know

"... and whatever weird and pervy thing he is going" Diego says and Ben smile mockingly at his brother because he knew, he knew that he's not the only one who would found Klaus.... _thing_ really weird.

Ben looked at his siblings, _really looked_ at his siblings. he saw how Luther looked too weathered and Ben feels his heart crack at that because his brother was sheltered his whole life and Ben can't even imagine how hard it must've been for him to adjust so quickly to the harsh world

Ben looked at Diego and saw a man too wild and crazed and Ben wonders just how much horror his brother has seen and experienced since the last time he saw him. how awful his experience must've been, being trapped in a place that Ben know doesn't really practice ethical practices 

Ben looks at Allison and he sees her in a different light. he sees her without the walls she built around herself too young and sees his sister looking so vulnerable, afraid and alone and Ben wants to hug him but he can't because he's in _jail time_ and it sucks

Ben sees Five and wonders just what horrors did his brother see this time round. did he see them all die again? Ben knows that Five is hiding something, shielding them from the worst and for once Ben wants Five to open up because he want, _wants_ to help the best that he could

he looks at Vanya and sees a girl that looks like she had a had a good life but is now troubled, deeply troubled and Ben find himself being sorry because maybe Vanya already found her happiness and they are slowly ripping it away from her. 

"i miss you guys" he whispered to the wind after he watched his siblings banter and leave him alone one by one until there is no one to witness his apology but the air. " _so much_ " 

he sighs before he pushed himself off the chair because he needs to follow his idiot brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i totally sucked this day and for that i am sorry. wanna say that ill do better tomorrow but ill be lying so....


	9. beauty parlor

the thing about being sheltered his whole life then running away with his ghost brother is that Klaus really does not know how to live outside the bubble that he resided on his whole life. 

"what do you mean i have to pay?" he asks his dead brother before wincing as several people look at his way. "maybe don't act like an idiot don't you think?" Ben quipped, hands shoved in his pocket as his whole face got covered by his hoodie. 

"i am not acting like an idiot!— _oh_ " Klaus is not used to not talking to ghost. he grew up his whole life shouting at the unseen and was never looked at it weirdly yet in this town, far from his home, people don't know him as the séance. he's just a random boy acting like a lunatic

"yeah" and Ben nodded once, then twice and Klaus grins softly at that. "so what should we do now that we are free?" his hands spread out as he turned around, not stopping even as he hit someone.

"fuck off"

"fuck you too mr. asshole" as he looked back at Ben, who only sighed. "waffles. you need to eat"

.....

  
living in the streets is a nightmare, Klaus realized soon enough. there are criminals everywhere. nowhere is safe yet he still pushes on, grins as he pickpockets and swears as he runs from people

it was only after he had pickpocket from someone when he saw the establishment from across the street. _betty bootician_ , a small place crammed in the middle of a tattoo parlour and a liquor store. 

"Klaus no" Ben said, eyes looking at Klaus and he only grinned wider. "oh Bennyboy we have money" and he crossed the street

Klaus thinks that he is having the best day of his life. he would _finally_ , finally go inside something that he only hoped to enter when he was younger. he saw woman exit these kind of establishment with prepped up looks and he want to feel prepped up too

with hands slightly shaking, he knocked on the front desk softly. "do you- do you do nails?" Klaus figured out nails is a good choice. his hair is still short despite the months that he spent in the streets and he doesn't really want to color it either. and also because it remind him of his sister, _a lot_

"... yes" and he grin. "fabulous. because i was thinking black and orange for the whole halloween vibes" its still September but he does not really care and it seems like neither does the lady because he saw how she grinned brightly before leading him into one of the chairs.

" so halloween?" and he grins as he started to explain what he wants his fingers to look like. "pumpkins. lots of pumpkins— _no Ben that's stupid_ — fine. and also one planchette please" 

Klaus feels great, honestly great. he spent a lot of money on himself, probably way too much but he likes the way that his nails looks, likes the way it reminds him of his sister and likes the way that he could talk to his brother without the lady looking at him in disgust.

"you weren't reported missing" the lady, Patricia, suddenly told him in the middle if painting a pumpkin on his nail and he stopped muttering to his brother in shock. "what?"

"umbrella kid. i saw the tattoo. you weren't reported missing" she mutters before looking up at him. "i honestly thought you retired with the kraken and rumour" and she continued doing his nails while he swallows down his shock.

"thank you" he whispers the moment the gel polish dried up and he could stand up without his nails sticking on anything. "anytime kid"

dazed, Klaus went out of the parlour, hands shaking as he realized what that meant. he has no idea where the hell are his siblings. "they are not back home anymore" he whispers, eyes looking at Ben before he saw what is behind his brother.

"i know" and he nods before he pushed his hair off his forehead, feet slowly taking him to the place he saw. the tattoo parlour.

"Klaus that's stupid" and he just scoffed before going in. the moment he got out, his hands are wrapped, nails still intact as he walked away from the place. _hello_ and _goodbye_ now on his hands. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> saw the prompt and felt my soul leave my body. im pretty sure i blanked while writing this last night because i cant remember ever writing this


	10. hug

  
hugs are the hargreeves tradition, at least it was until Ben died.

Ben was a clingy kid. his hands never leaving someone. be it a touch in the shoulder or a pinky hooked on someone's shirt. he just wants contact, wants to remember that he's alive and that he's not just the monsters inside his body

he remembers the nights where he sneaks into his mothers charging station and look at her blank eyes before slowly sitting next to her, head resting on her stiff shoulders as he tries to calm himself down

he remembers the days where he has to calm down Klaus from his panic attacks and he had to wrap his arms around his brother and lay Klaus head into his chest to get him hear his heart beating. 

he remembers the days where Allison would pull him in on side hugs whenever they crossed paths because they both craved for hugs they know they wouldn't receive from anybody else. 

Ben remembers the times where Five hugged him, short and too tight as if he doesn't know how to hug someone and maybe he really doesn't. _maybe none of them_ _do_ but it felt nice to have his brother show affection to him every once in a while 

he remembers the days where Diego would pass him in hallways and pat him in the back, brief touches that sooths his growing pains and he remembers how Diego never got scared of hugging him even when the horror is raging on inside him

he remembers tapping Vanya softly whenever they he sees her because he knows that Vanya is not comfortable in touches so he settles on small pats even though he wants to hug her so bad

he remembers how Luther would pull him in whenever they finished every mission. even when he is drenched in criminals blood. he remembers how Luther pats his back soft and he remembers feeling safe whenever he's with Luther.

he remembers the day he dies and how the last thing he feels is Klaus hugging his body while Allison is frantically holding his head up to stop him from choking on his own blood and he remembers Diego trying to wipe his tears away before he succumbed into the darkness

he remembers seeing his own body get hugged by Luther before he got carried back to their house and he remembers the phantom pains that he felt as he saw his own mutilated body in the hospital table .

he remembers spending the next decade by his brother's side, watching him get all the hugs and affections that he so desperately craves and he remembers the days where Klaus is somewhat sober that his brother tries to make him touch something, _anything_ because he knows that Klaus knows how much he wishes the physical affection

he remembers when his fist made contact with his brother's face and he wanted, wanted so bad to pull his brother in but he couldn't, not anymore. he remembers the feel if Diego's shirt when he pulled him out of the falling rubble and he remembers the overwhelming sensation of feeling his tentacles holding bodies once again

he remembers being in the sixties and using every opportunity to touching his brother. he never cared even if he only gets his affections by fighting with his brother at first because he _craves, craves, craves_ the physical affection and he wishes that he could just ask Klaus for one

he remembers how the ground felt like and how Jill felt against him and he remembers how her skin felt against his borrowed fingertips and he wished he could've hugged Jill tighter, as tight as he could go.

he remembers hugging his brother once more, his brother who teared up upon knowing that it was him, Ben who he was talking to and he wants to sob because he missed this. always wondered how would Diego feel like when he was older and his body was not the seventeen year old body that Ben last remembered hugging

and he remembers when he saw his sister strapped into a chair and he remembers possessing her and remembers the overwhelming fear that she feels and he remembers talking to her, his soft voice calming him down as he winds up because she held his hands and he missed this so much, miss the sensation of being touched

" _can you hug me as i go?_ " and he swallowed down sobs as he gripped tight on his sister. his memories flashing through his minds and he remember the warmth that he felt whenever he hugs someone and he wished he could've had more time but he didn't and its a tragedy.

then he slowly disappeared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i regret nothing :))))


	11. outfits

klaus feels more dead than alive on some days, feels as if he's one with the ghost around him screaming and begging and drippping with blood and guts and bones. on those days, it is almost impossible for him to differentiate the dead from alive, causing him to avoid everyone in fear of not knowing whether the one he's talking to is not really alive

his siblings' clothes help him ground himself into the reality on those days. 

he wears Luther's clothes. way too big, way to long, way to pressed and uncomfortable and yet Klaus never felt more safe whenever he smells Luther who he knows would protect him from everything, even the monsters that only he could see. Luther's clothes are warm and stiff from the starch his mother uses and Klaus knows he must've looked so ridiculous but he can't help but to borrow himself into his brother's clothes. 

he wears Diego's clothes, way too thin or way too thick, always constricting in the weirdest places, always with holes because of the knives he uses. his clothes smells like burnt wood and metal polish and Klaus knows it's because Diego spends his nights polishing knives by the fireplace while he speaks to their mom and Klaus never felt safe in their home but he guesses this is what home should feel like, safe and warm

he wore Five's clothes. when Five still hasn't disappeared off to nowhere, Klaus used to raid his brother's closet all the time. he spent days inside his brother's closet to scare him and to make 'closeted' joke that his brother always makes faces at. he wears Five's clothes which are too small, too thin, too light and he feels more free than he ever did. his brother never minded him borrowing clothes and sometimes, Klaus even thinks that Five sprays perfume on the clothes he doesn't uses so that if he really need grounding, he could lean on Five 

he wore Ben's clothes. when Ben was alive, Klaus used to go to his brother's closet to take Ben's favorite hoodie and parade around the house wearing a hoodie too tight and too short on him, making jokes that Ben never failed to laugh at. he wears his brother's sleepwear, citing bullshit about its lenght yet Klaus knows that Ben knows that the real reason for it is because Klaus missed having sleepovers with Ben, back when they could still sneak off the night without getting caught.

Klaus wears Vanya's clothes. her clothes are plain and mediocre at best and he knows his siblings always gets a shock whenever he wears Vanya's clothes but he can't help but to love wearing them. Vanya smells of the whole house, the burning wood in the fireplace and the baked pies in the kitchen and the floor polish by the piano room and the smell of old books in the library. Vanya feels like a safe place amidst the never ending ghost that swarms him

he wears Allison's clothes. Klaus always feels beautiful and free and carefree whenever he wears Allison's clothes. her pants were never short on him and her skirt always fit him perfectly and he could wear his blouses and feel as if it is fit for him. Allison never minded him wearing her clothes, never minded him wearing her nail polishes and head bands and jewerly as long as it's not her necklace and Klaus was fine with that. he knows how bounderies work and he knows how to obey them

there are days were Klaus feels as if he'll drown with the ghost and thankfully he had his siblings to help him. 

but when he started living on the streets he had no one but himself and a swarm of ghost and the cold ground so he had no choice but to feel alive in different ways that what he did when he was younger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao im sorry for this i was awake until 3am doing my carrd


	12. majestic 12

they are the rich and influential, men who had way too much money and way too much time and a sinister mind.

meet John Lee Bowie, father of a MIT graduate and husband to a beautiful wife. outside of the walls of their secret society he's a congressman of Virginia, holding chess pieces and playing with people's lives. his wife doesn't care where he goes as long as the perfume doesn't cling into his expensive suit and his son couldn't care less to the politics career that he had paved for his son. _he is a lonely man_

Chad Anderson, a multimillionaire with houses that could house hundreds people and enough money to buy a country. below his feet are hundred thousands of employees working without even resting. in his hands are food that could feed the poor yet he kept them all to himself, kept them close and marked them up. _he's a greedy man_

Elliot Smith, a man who has boats that exports goods, ship food off to the foreign country but little did anyone know that the boats doesn't only carry good but kids too, all of them snatched from loving homes, all of them shipped to the unknown. he pockets the money and turns a blind eye ever though he knows what would happen to the kids he shipped off. _he's a cruel man_

Chad McMiller is a business man, owns buildings both in the north and in the south. he settled in Texas, sunk himself into the chaos of the ongoing fight against the discrimination and his hands throws money to the police to fund his new entertainment and he watches, amused as he sees how the fight rages on outside of his comfortable home. _he's a horrible man_

Timothy Black was from England, brought into America to see the world from another view but he chose to stay when he realized just how much he could manipulate naive Americans with his act. he grins and he charms and he acts in front of the camera, his eyes feigning innocence yet his hands has the most blood out of all of them, him craving the thrill that killing has bought him. _he's a sadistic man._

  
Carl Davids, a man who rose from the bottom because of his wit. a child prodigy, he graduated at fourteen and conquered the world with his brain as his advantage and when the world stopped satisfying his curiosity, he delved into the darker side that he only heard from the hushed whispers behind closed doors. _he is a curious man._

Anthony Edwards, a man who came from the influentials. he is born with a silver spoon shoved into his cruel mouth, never working even for a day in his life and wasting away while changing girls as fast as he changed clothes. his mind was long polluted with his father's influence, clouding his thoughts ever since he was younger. he wants the excitement he feels everytime he moves a chess piece in the game they call life. _he's a carefree man_

Steve Washington, a man with a wife and a kid and a house with white picket fences. he's what people calls a real american boy, with his blonde hair and blue eyes and the military background backing him up. he never thought he'll be here, planning how the world would go but it seems like he would and he is nothing but a soldier ready to adapt the the changes. _he's a stupid man_

Peter Weltz, a man who openly defied the government ever since he was young. questioning everything, wanting everything to change and he knew he had to do it himself because the world is helpless and he knows the change would only happen if he moves so he does. _he's an angry man_

Michael Gibbons, a man who had way too much weapon at his disposal. ready for the upcoming war that he knows is already brewing, waiting to blow over and spill towards the soil. he waits and he plans and he plants small details that would change the course of the battle, planting bombs back on Vietnam to start a war in the making. _he's a terrible man_

Sebastian Williams, a man with way too many contacts with the higher up, someone who knows how to twist his words and tangle into businesses and change the course of the whole room to fit into his perspective. he spoke with presidents and told them to start a war and he knows it's going to be a matter of time before it does and he waits. _he's a persuasive man_

Reginald Hargreeves, a man who came from nowhere and appeared one day, sweeping the nation in shock as he built a name for himself. he's calm and collected and oh so cruel to people and he knows the moment he brought this people together that he had set the course in motion, doomed the world to end one way or another. he plans and he schemes and he waits for the upcoming apocalypse. _he's a smart man_

and together, they are the majestic 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would like to thank my gc who had absoulutely NO HELP on naming this white boys. yall clowns


	13. mamie pink

  
their relationship started out slowly. stolen glances at the corner of their eyes and soft mumbles as they marched along side each other,whispering words only the two of them knows, hearts beating in their chest as they feign innocence, pretended as if their heart is not already caring for one another

Dave was the one to make the first move, a bold word in the back of a Vietnamese bar, both of them drunk of their asses and Klaus _drowns , drowns, drowns_ in love as he felt Dave's lips touch his

stolen kisses and brief touches happened, soft voice whispering secrets in the middle of the night and Klaus feels his heart _bend_ and _bend_ and _bend_ and he fears that it'll break if the relationship goes to shit.

"no one can know. nobody can know" Dave whispered one night, begged against his damp lips. both of them panting and Klaus nods even as tears pooled in his eyes, making them glimmer with the shining moon and he gasp as he went for another kiss because this is not the first time he had to hide yet it still hurts him, still pains him, still ruins him

 _does love have to be this painful?_ Klaus wanted to ask Dave one night after they fought, both of them high, both of them drunk, both of them hurt, both of them tired and Klaus can only gasp as he heard the word from his lover's lips. _let's take a break_

Klaus felt as if the world stopped and rewound itself and fast forwarded as Dave's words rang through his ears and he remembers nodding numbly before going out, getting away, shaking in remorse and he remembers the painful nights of avoiding the love of his life because it hurts, _oh god it does_ but Dave said no and he knows when to stop

then they got called, an ambush, they were just supposed to be back up. they ended up on front lines and Klaus felt his heart sink into his stomach as he fought because Dave and him weren't still okay and Dave is still mad at him and the fight is too bloody and Klaus doesn't know if he'll make it

he could only scream as he saw Dave when he looked at his side and no matter how much, how hard he pressed, Dave still slipped through his fingers and he can do nothing but to cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just- im sorry okay.


	14. the commission

how did the commision start? did it start back in 1780's when Alexander Hamilton was wrecking havoc back in New York City and there was a man with way too much time and way too little social interaction

or was is established in the 1950's where people are still reeling from the war and they just wanted to make sure that the country would stay safe, even if it means messing up with the time to ensure the bright future

maybe it was back in the 1600 where women are not allowed to do anything but to cook and clean and thus left with way too much time in their grubby hands and they slowly figured how to change the world, a second at a time.

maybe it was built back in the 1990's on a crisis that could've been prevented with a time machine and someone was desperate enough just to try travelling through time

maybe it was built in the 1400 where everyone just wanted the clothes to change so they created a device that could make or break the world

no one knows how or when did the commision started but many people knew how it operated. recruits starts at 16,disappearing off the face of the earth and reappearing on the history that they change, recruiting in hushed whispers that only the wind could carry

they work in pairs because the job is too brutal to do as one and they sneak in to the spaces of time long enough to make a difference before slipping in once more to do another job.

they stalk in the dark and creep through the town and execute people for attempting on doing the same thing that they do, change the world a second at a time because time is already planned out and it needs to stay that way.

they say none of them could ever escape the commision. all of the rebels killed for trying to cut off ties and connection , forcing everyone to stay, forcing everyone to live

no one knew how the commision started but everyone knew how it ended. it ended with a man called Five Hargreeves and a bloody pickaxe, murdering the head of the commission in a second. but just like a hydra, whenever you cut a head, two shall appear. 

so maybe its the end, maybe its not.after all we are just a speck in the space all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school sucks and everyone on twitter just clowns me


	15. axe

How many ways can you kill a man with an axe?

Five doesn't think that he will never know just how many ways you could kill the man with just the swing of an axe. Five remembers the first time he killed a person. _he was ten. he was five, he was fifty eight_ with his hands holding an axe killing commission board members

he doesn't know what is worst. he grew up with Reginald Hargreeves, a man with sinister mind telling kids how to kill a man with a toaster and a gun. how many ways can you really kill the man, Five remembers the days, the months, the weeks where they have to learn just how many ways can you slit a man's throat without killing him 

he doesn't know what was worst, growing up with a man who was ready to teach kids how to kill or to grow up alone in the wasteland where you have nobody to see, nothing to hear and only smelling the rotting flesh from the people that died years ago.  
Five remembers the first time he had to kill for a commission. the commission is a _very ,very ,very_ harsh workplace, with people killing each other for fun, people killing each other for the greater good

what is a greater good even? nothing is a greater good. Five doesn't know what is a greater good anymore. Five just kill because he wants to go home, wants to go home, back to his family but _he can't, he can't , he can't_ so he killed 

Five remembers his first kill with an axe when he was working on the commission. Five remembers the axe in his hand and a man held by his head and Five remembers the fear and hurt that he feels when hie kills the man and Five knew that he really cannot go back from this, there's no going back from this

now here is standing over the people who had ruined this life, standing in front of a fish, a fish that holds his future and in his hand is an axe and _he swings and he swings and he swings and he swings_

he kills and he let the blood splatter to his skin because the only alternative was losing his siblings again and he will kill, he would kill just to save his stupid siblings and he can only gasp as the axe hit men after men after men and blood splattered through his face

he killed another man, 12 men. he wanted to stop yet he killed 12 men and Five can only shout in anger as only hours later his stupid siblings fucked up, _messed up_ and Five has work for another thing again 

he just wanted to stop but he didn't get a break and suddenly there is the sparrow academy and Five wishes that he has an axe in his hands


	16. possession

Rules to possessing somebody a guidebook by Ben Hargreeves proofread by Klaus Hargreeves  
ps if you're not a medium then this wouldn't work for you 

number one: **consent.** always consent. always ask your host about consent because a possession is a very very tough thing if you don't just ask for consent. 

side note from Klaus :possession feels like fucking 

  
number two: **Always wear soft clothes.** ghost phase through soft clothes ghost doesn't tend to pass through thick clothes. if you want to get your ghost to be able to possess you quickly, wear your softest and thinnest clothes.

  
number three: always, always, always **check in with your medium**. possession can be hard on both medium and the ghost but mostly the medium. and as a ghost you should always check in with your medium. they will die if you did not give them their body back in more than 30 minutes and because it is just better to be concerned of your host 

  
Number four: always, always, always always **drink water** when you are possessing somebody because your hosts always should stay hydrated

  
number five: **eat** because you will never taste them ever again if you're not possessing your host and you cannot process host everyday because it's going to be bad for your health and theirs

  
number six: **feel things** while you are in your host's body but always ask for consent because consent is always good. check number one for the in dept information. you wouldn't feel things as if you were alive but there would be some feelings into your fake fingers 

  
number seven: **have fun!** possessing is a very hard thing and you can only achieve it if you're a master ghost so always have fun and always practice and remember to communicate with your host. 

  
This is the seventh possession rules by Ben Hargreeves and Klaus Hargreeves

  
P.s.Diego Hargreeves has proofread this and he said we didn't make any mistakes

  
p.p.s. Allison Hargreeves funded these to be printed for the world to see

  
p.p.p.s. Luther please never walk in while we were writing ever again 

  
p.p.p.p.s.Five stop drinking coffee i swear to god i will kill you if you drink coffee again. love, Ben

  
And p.p.p.p.p.s. Vanya you are a very,very wonderful sister and we are happy that you are alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know what im doing istg.


	17. baby pogo

Grace knew they had to leave the moment she saw what Reginald was about to do. she knows that she and Pogo had to leave so she quickly went back to the laboratory, packed their bags and just brought Pogo far away, as far as she could go. as far away from Texas as she could get with a monkey strapped by her side 

she goes somewhere far away from Texas. maybe New York, maybe Los Angeles, maybe Arkansas. but the only thing that Grace prioritized is to get as far as she could the man that she loves because, because the man that she love is not really the man that she knows

  
Grace took care of Pogo alone, teaching him very beautiful morals, pushing him far away from the darkness that he could have became, teaching him how to love people as they are. teaching him how to take care of people as they are .

Pogo grew up watching tv and playing with people, not knowing that he is very different from all of them. Grace tries her best, she really does but there are days where she still wish that Reginald was by her side because that's the love of her life and it is a shame that she doesn't get to share her whole life at the man that that she thinks is her future 

Pogo Hargreeves. She named her son after the man that she loves. Pogo Hargreeves grew up as a very wonderful boy, not knowing that he is very different from other people. Grace treated him kindly, giving him the love and the care that he deserves and Pogo blooms and Pogo grows into very very mature man and Grace is very, very proud of him

Pogo started taking care of his mom when she had started getting old. Pogo took care of his mom while she started calling for a man that he doesn't know. _who was Reginald_ , he wanted to ask but he knows her mother will never tell him so Pogo just smiled and took care of her mother 

Grace lived until 2018 a year before the umbrella academy went back to their timeline and by then Pogo doesn't know them anymore, his memories filled with happiness that he had received from his mother. Pogo dies 3 years later with tentacle stabbed through his stomach and nobody knew what happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has no direction and i dont know what was i thinking when i wrote this


	18. dancing

it was Grace who thought them how to dance.

it was a fine evening, with Reginald out of town amd Vanya was playing a haunting tune on her violin and Grace saw how Klaus swayed softly to the tune, eyes glassy and she smiles. 

"do you want to learn how to dance Klaus? " Grace asked and she saw how Klaus looked at him, shocked. her vision processing it as soft shocked and she saw how Klaus opened his mouth, once, twice before nodding

she watched as Klaus ran towards her, his arms wrapping around her wiast as he grins wild. "yes mother. please teach me how to dance" and she nodded, hands holding her son gently as she started to sway to the tune. she placed Klaus' hand on her shoulders as she held his waist and slowly stepped forward and back, softly counting  
she saw how Vanya looked at them with her lips smiling softly and she saw how Allison stood up slowly. eyes looking at them. "do you want to dance too Allison?" Grace asked and she saw how Allison nodded, meekly walking over them and Grace heard how the song changed and Klaus slowly let go, smile firm on his lips

Grace danced with her daughter, leading her, twirling her, making her laugh joyfully and Grace made sure she saved this whole evening into her hard drive because it would be a shame to forget this. Grace only smiled as she saw Five stood up next, eyes looking at her expectantly and she offered her hands. smiling as Five took them

Allison slowly went away. gushing with Klaus as the song changed and Five started leading with the dance as Grace saw how her son slowly lose the tension in his body, looking happy for once and she hoped she could see him like that more often .

Grace felt shocked after she saw Ben stood up, walking towards them slowly and Grace only smiled wider as she offered her son her hand and she can only smile softly as Five left and Ben replaced him. she let Ben lead. his steps soft and stiff but she still saw the happiness in her son's eyes

Luther went next and Grace laughed brightly, feeling like she's on cloud nine as her normally serious son started to dance with her, leading the dance. she saw the small smile in her son's lips and she wished more than anything that she could see her son smile like that often

Diego stoods up confidently before faltering and Grace smiled softly as she offered her hands, watching as her son took it and to her surprise, Diego let her lead. Grace smiled softly as his son swayed with the somber tune playimg in Vanya's violin, wishing that she could stop time at this. all her children happy.

Grace saw how Vanya's eyes widened when she stopped dancing with Diego and offered her daughter her hand and Grace can only sigh softly as she and Vanya danced, smiling wider when Klaus sang to fill up the silence. she wished she could preserve this memory

but Five ran away a week later and Grace has never, ever saw her children dance ever again. she's only left with her memories of their happier times 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i regret anything? nope


	19. laughing gas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im just :/. also im gonna post the one for tomorrow really late bc i fucked up

  
Luther has discovered that problems are alot easier to handle when he was high. now he knows why Klaus really like this thing. _the drugs_ , he means 

it was way easier to feel like he's alive when he doesn't really remember what happens to him when he woke up 

the Hargreeves grew up with their father that abused them and Luther just realized that when he landed at 1960s with his heart broken in so many pieces by the news that shocked him for a week of his life 

his father never really love him and now that he's high, it lost its pain and it became laughing matter to him. nothing really matter to him anymore but the hilarious thing that Elliot is saying that he thinks it was hilarious 

the thing that is father never really love him it was hilarious. the same that his father left him to the moon because his father never really care for him. it was hilarious for him that his father sent him so far away and left them all alone in the moon. _the moon, the moon,.the moon_ that he can't shut up about it it's hilarious. it really is. 

Luther had looked at Elliott and he can only laugh, burst of giggles coming out of his mouth because his whole life has been a joke. he feels as if his whole life has been a joke. it must be it must be a joke

he takes a _breath_ and a _breath_ and a _breath_ , letting the drugs mix into his system and he wants to sob but he can't because he cannot find anything sad at this moment. everything is just funny to him

it's funny how the person that he loves for the rest of his life has thrown him into the moon. it's funny how the girl that he love, his sister, found somebody else.it's funny how his siblings that he takes care of let him all alone to suffer in the hands of their father. it's funny how the brother that he tried to protect died by his arms 

it's funny how nobody really care for him. it's funny how the only person that care for him was not even a person but a monkey. and it's funny how is Pogo died by the hand of his sister and it's funny how the only woman that took care of him is not really a human but a robot 

and it's funny how the world just really loves to ruin him. he takes a _breath_ and a _beath_ and a _breath_ and a _breath_ and let the drugs mix into him because it's way easier to deal things when is high and Luther is starting to understand why Klaus love being high

he also doesn't want to come back anymore, doesn't want to come back to the pain that he feels. he just wants _feel , feel, feel_ happy and free and also alive so he _breaths_ and he _breaths_ and he _breaths_ in and let his worries fly away from his mind. it's way easier this way, it really is


	20. destiny's children

She was a girl from southern Texas, someone who is not normal as the people say. she feels something for the girl next door and she is so lost in the _great big world_

when she saw a poster of a man who looks like a god who wants people to worship him, she had no qualms of just worshiping a man, treating him as a god

They called him the prophet. he's very weird. it's not like a cult described in the news, the prophet barely ask for anything, wanting to be left alone in his room. not demanding of anything but to stay happy and healthy and fit 

pray and to believe and nothing else and she, she just loves here. she went far away from the her parents, people who thinks that is that is wrong for liking the girl next door and she _loves, loves, loves_ this place. it makes her feel alive

She knows the prophet must be saying some lies. it wouldn't make sense that he knows how the future would end in 2019, but the prophet is very, very nice man. he loves her and believes in her. she would let anything that the prophet says slide because it is way that it is 

It was just him ,The prophet, and she's going to worship him. the prophet has knew that she loves girl after a night where someone accidentally spilled her secret, and she remembers shaking in fear that she would be thrown onto the street but to her surprise the prophet did nothing but love her 

the prophet has said that she's extremely valid and now the prophet is gone. the prophet left with his last words and she would forever know him and his kind words and she hopes at one day that the prophet will come back. _until then they all wait_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this sucked so bad but in my defence, i was crying when i wrote this


	21. amnesia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is what i wrote originally for the prompt _farm_ back when my mental health is not yet off the deep end

  
who is she? all she knows that her name is Vanya. it was on her suit after all. there was a card, _Vanya, a violin teacher **call this number now**_. they tried, it did not even go through. 

"that was ten bucks", she heard the nurses say from behind her curtain and she winces. ten buck. she thinks somebody could definitely buy a cow with ten bucks. she maybe be wrong though. she was wrong on way too many things now. like the date, or the year, or the place

"you are under observation still dear" somebody told her. something's wrong with her, she knows. everyone looked at her with pity in their eyes. _why are they pitying her?_ she wanted to ask

but she didn't. she kept quiet, eyes looking at the curtains surrounding her hospital bed, hands wringing themselves in her lap. she wanted to ask something. why should she ask something? what would she ask? is she allowed? she vaugely remembers being reprimanded for asking question but is that even real when she heard from the doctor that she can't remember a single thing

"she thinks it's 2019. she thinks we are at the north. she thinks it's still march" she heard them whisper, heartbreak clear on their tones and she bites her lip at that because she feels like this is not the first time she disappointed somebody but she can't remember if she even disappointed someone

time passed by way too fast, way too slow, stopping on days where she wanted the day to go by as quick as possible and going faster than the speed of light on days where she wanted the time to just freeze so she can have her peace. maybe that how time really works, maybe she was wrong once more

there was someone though, someone who made her day instantly better, someone who she could look at and not feel the heavy set in her heart. Sissy. the one who had hit her with a car. someone that Vanya is pretty sure she should be wary of but she's not

Sissy is nice,with her Vanya doesn't feel as lost and frustrated and sad and mad and scared, her emotions not overwhelming her as much as when she is alone. sometimes she thinks this is her first time feeling emotions. but that can't be right because she knows she feels things, but what does she really know?

soon enough, she was free from the hospital that kept her in way too long in her opinion but how long should someone be kept in a cold, dark place that smells of antiseptic and rubber.

sometimes she dreams of being held in a cell, with its walls resembling spikes and its floor too hard. she dreams of smelling antiseptic and sewage, dreams about a foggy glass and her breaths ringing through her ear before she wakes. it must not be true. it's just a dream

"i think am scared of hospitals" Vanya found herself admitting that to Sissy, who had so graciously took her from the hospital. they offered her a job. she had nowhere else to go. she had agreed. 

"it's fine if you are" and that was that. Vanya felt like there should've been a jab at her after that but none came and for Vanya is very grateful.

working for the farm was nice. she barely got to even work at the farm. the farm is mainly Sissy's job. "i told Carl i would die if i don't get to move around " Sissy has told her but she looked at her son for a moment too long and Vanya understood. 

Harlan is a wonderful kid, never really talked but Vanya still think he's the most precious boy in the world. sometimes she closes her eyes and she could see snippets of boys in blue school uniform, of green eyes and too sharp smiles, of shy voice and the smell of books. sometime she closes her eyes and hear metal whizzing past her ear and the faint scent of leather clinging her nose, sometimes she hear manic laughter and terrified shouts, broken bones over the banister. she opens her eyes and they all disappear, slipping through her hands like sand

Vanya found herself telling those to Harlan, not caring even if he barely acknowledge her. sometimes Harlan blinks at her and that's enough because she knows how difficult it is for Harlan to even acknowlege someone. she thinks there is a name for what he is experiencing but she may be wrong

"i always wanted a sister" Vanya told Sissy one night, both of them tired from the jobs they did, both of them looking above, both of them sharing a bottle of rum. "oh trust me, sisters are not as glamorous as you think it is" and she would be left wondering if the snippets of cinammon and cigarettes clinging on expensive perfumes and the soft laughter she had seen in her mind were even real. 

"maybe i just want to have someone i can rely on" and she saw how Sissy grinned at that, eyes glinting dangerously and Vanya feels her heart pick up its pace. does she like women? is it allowed? is it legal? she's pretty sure she could die, saw it on the news even. 

"maybe it doesn't have to be a sister" Vanya felt like there should've been a kiss after that. but there is not. Carl appeared and Vanya had to look away as the kiss because she knows what she wants, she can't really have. 

life moves on. she moves on. she lives on. she dreams on, dreams of kids running around, of kids crying, of a cane hitting her back, of a dark room so quiet she felt like her ears bursted into themselves. she wakes up. life moves on

  
"do you really not remember anything Vanya?" Carl had asked one dinner and Vanya hummed as she nodded. eyes looking straight into Carl even though she doesn't think women are supposed to look at men. she thinks she is expected to lower her gaze after a second but she didn't. she waited until Carl was the one who looked away before she did. maybe it was expected of her but she can't remember

"i see snippets but i don't think they are my memories" Vanya says, hands gripping her fork tighter "they are too muddy" she says. she doesn't tell of the blood that she saw, of the wails that she hears, of the name that she thinks she knows _. Ben. Klaus. Five. Luther. Diego. Allison_

"it would all come back" and she only hummed at that because she is not sure if it would. and if what she saw was her memories, she's not sure if she wants them back


	22. jfk

Diego knew the moment that he landed on the 1960s that something must be connected to the timeline, something must be because _why, why_ would he land in the place where he know he could die any moment 

then he remembered the president dies in months and Diego plan save the president. then he stupidly got into trouble, got arrested, got labeled as mentally unstable and got thrown In the mental institution and Diego wants to laugh because its how Hargreeves' luck works.

And then jfk, John Fitzgerald Kennedy , became his obsession. He remembers himself trying know everything that connects to the president. tapes and photos and newspaper clippings stacked beneath his bed because _he knows, he knows, he knows, he knows_ it must be connected to the president. everything is connected to the president that just how life works

then he escape the hospital with a girl that he barely knows and Five is showing the frankel footage and he knew he was right. The president should not die because it would cause the end of the world

And he tried his goddamn best, tried to save the president. but Diego has dumb siblings alive and they botched it. Diego can only watch as President John Fitzgerald Kennedy died before his eyes despite the fact that he pushed away the umbrella holding man 

And he can only laugh and attempt not to cry at the same time because he was so close and he was so sure that he can see in the president but he didn't

And that save the world. hat save the world and prevented a nuclear war. but Diego is still filled with the unfulfilled feeling his chest and he wish, he still wish even though he knows it's not right, that he could have saved the president because he knew he could do it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is stupid and i have no explanation for this


	23. apologize

When Luther came into the 1960s he realized that he had done many many things many wrong things so he made list a list of people that he should say sorry to

first off, Vanya. i am sorry because i have wronged you in so many ways, fucked up our familial relationship so many times and made you feel as worthless as possible. im sorry that i was ruining you while i'm making myself taller and higher

Allison, I'm sorry that i never treated you like a sister but more than just a sister, you were my love, my life, my sister, my lord and my savior and it sucks that we are together but at the same time I'm glad that you and i never got together because i don't think i would've known how wrong our relationship is

Klaus, i'm sorry my brother for all the bad things that i have had done to you, especially in the last week that we have together. it was very very bad of me. i am sorry for treating you was the way i treated you and i hope you could forgive me 

Diego, i'm sorry my brother for letting you live behind my shadows and disappointed you so many times .i wish you can forgive me Diego because i would love to be your brother that you can trust

Elliot, i am sorry that you died because of me and my family, left all alone the rot in the room, not even scattered to the wind, and Luther wants to give his friend the love that he deserves but he didn't get it and for that Luther is very sorry 

and lastly Five, I am sorry that you suffered all alone and got stolen of your childhood, left to fend for yourself and I hope I could be there just so that you wouldn't be alone in the apocalypse but I wasn't. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i, once again, wrote in a first person pov and honestly its not that bad in my opinion


	24. fraud

  
She had built her whole life in her by her mouth opening, forming words, creating the reality that she wanted.

she just only wanted to get out of the house then it became her only form her only way to survive. then she rumored her husband to love her and for her to have a kid 

And it was, _it was hard_ having a kid and a husband that she technically just manipulated, she just played with him and Allison fears that one day Patrick would know and her husband would hate her

And that happened and Allison was crushed as the person that she love for the rest of her life get taken away for her because of her mistakes 

And then she knew that she had use their powers on her sister and Allison has never felt more disgusted in her life because she knew just how much her power could ruin somebody and to know that she ruined her own sister, made her life a lie was horrible

Then she got thrown into the 60s, where she would die within days because of the way she looks, because of her gender, because of her skin, because of her views and Allison has never felt more scared in her life because her only defense is lost, stolen from her when she lost her voice 

Allison thrives on the sixties, met a man that loved her as she is and she never felt as if she was a fraud when she was with him but _she knows_ , she knows she is nothing more than her mistakes.that's what her father said, that she was nothing more than her mistakes, her wrongdoings, the bad things that she did 

and she fears that one day Ray would find out and Ray will never ever love her anymore. and then it came the day where she had to tell Ray what what she does, what she could do and when she saw the love that still reflected on her husband's eyes did she know and that she never had to lie anymore,.she doesn't have to be a fraud anymore, she can be who she is

she wouldn't have to abuse her power to get what she wanted anymore. But then she had to leave her forever behind, leave him all alone to suffer more and Allison is so pained because she had what she wanted for so long yet she let it slip from her fingers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am having a very bad week and my feet hurts so bad


	25. paradox psychosis

Paradox psychosis is a lie.

Five lied, he knows that old Five and him knew about it because it was something that he made up. he was just afraid of facing is other self, his younger self all alone so he had to make up rules and as much as he hates it, he asks for help

Five would admit that no matter how much he tried to shy away from help, he knew he wouldn't be able to do this alone, not when the stake so big and he fights someone as smart as he is and Five doesn't know what to do half of the time 

so he made up stories, made up rules about meeting your parallel, your older self, your younger self 

it was hilarious in retrospect but Five didn't know what he had to do for somebody to accompany him so He pretended that he is could get in trouble with his older self and he hoped it would be enough to sway his brother's heart

and it did and Five grinned as he told Luther of the fake rules of time travel and meeting yourself and how _oh so terribly dangerous_ it would be if he was _oh so alone_

and Luther bought it, bought his shit and Five can only grin as his heart sang inside him because he wouldn't have to face this alone this time and thats all he wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know what im doing half of the time


	26. soundtrack

  
the people called the umbrella academy crazy

they saw Luther, who looked too out of place. who looked at the press with arrogance that put off people, who said things quick and swift and who threw people off the buildings, who lifted trucks and cars with no effort and their lips twisted in a sneer as they say _spaceboy is crazy_

they saw Diego. with way too many knives and hands always soaked in blood, who stuttered through his words, who looked with a glare and lips twisted in a grin and whose walk is too heavy and who people saw roam the streets at night ever since he was a kid and people murmur _the kraken is crazy_

they saw Allison, who bent reality with her mouth, who grinned sweetly and walked shyly, eyes glinting in happiness as she twirled all around the crime scene, rumoring people left and right, who looked way too pretty for a teen and who got everything she wants and the people scream _the rumour is crazy_ and she would manipulate us all

the world saw Klaus, who was ruined away too early, who showed up drunks and high and far too gone, who grinned to sharp and skipped around holding ouija boards, feet floating off the ground as he looked at everyone with eyes that saw the past, present and future and the people trembles as they say _the séance is crazy_

they saw Five who popped in and out of place, who killed way too early. who looked too arrogant, who knew everything. who looks too big for someone so small, who never faltered, who disappeared one day, never to be seen again and the people whispers, _the boy is crazy_

people look at Ben, who was too harsh, too weird, too scary, who walked with his head hung down and whose smell of copper clung to his skin. who never went a day without his hands stained in blood and who trembles in attempt to control the horror and the people announce _the horror is crazy._

  
the world saw Vanya, who held grudges into adulthood, who monetized their trauma, who put their story into the public, who never pulled out her book despite its criticism. people threw harsh words. called her a lot of thing but what stood up most is that the people said _Vanya is crazy_

and maybe they are, maybe they aren't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i chose to write for one song, my fave s2 song bc honestly this prompt made me remember it


	27. light supper

  
Reginald knew about the children. _of course he did_

his monocle tells him everything, gives him every information that he needs to know, of the past,present and future and he knew who the kids are

he knew about Luther. who blamed him for his body and who he left on the moon to rot and he knew his future self has the greatest idea and Reginald knew that if he were to pick, he would also put this huge guy on the moon

he knew about Diego and his issues and his ambition, knew about his attempts and sufferings and insecurities, knew about what he could say the bring down this boy who is a threat to him and he did, in words

he knew of Allison and how he shaped her life. of her past and present and her muddy future, of her wrongdoings and her greed and Reginald peers over her because he knew he could do what he did to her again. make her weak

he saw Klaus and the ghost that follows him, Ben he thinks. he saw how Klaus got played by his own brother, a puppet to a puppeteer and Reginald watched, curious to the action of his siblings to him, noting everything

Reginald saw Five, who is too confident, a leader, a weak person. Reginald saw how Five looked at him in respect. on how Reginald knew it wouldn't take much to win over Five, and he knew he wouldn't even have to put in that much effort because Five is entering his trap on his own

he saw Ben who is strong and witty and smart and Reginald saw him dead and figured out he could use the boy in the future. his future and he memorized his moves and his looks and the way he acts before deciding that Ben is more useful that he thought

he saw Vanya, whose siblings are scared and who is shaky and timid and he saw the power that she emits and he is scared of what she can do, terrified of what she could become amd he notes it all

Reginald came to diner to meet his future, he came out with a list

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONLY FOUR MORE FICS HOLY FUCK. if youve made it this far and not get turned off by the vignettes then uhm, thank you. i really appreciate it


	28. funeral

  
Luther was the first one who knew the news.

Their father, Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire, died alone in his room and Luther packed his bags, ready to go home 

Allison knew from her personal assistant and Klaus new from the ambulance and Ben knew because of Klaus. Diego saw the news after he had saved the family 

their father, their abuser, is dead. so they all went back to the academy, roaming the halls once again,hostile and volatile and oh so cruel to each other 

Vanya knew the news from a storefront, her father's face flashing, mocking her, reminding her of her past yet she saw she saw the headline and she knew she had to go back 

so she did. they all got back, harsh words were thrown all around all of them, not thinking, all of them saying things that they would regret. all of them ruining their fragile relationship

the funeral took place besides Ben's statue with Klaus clearly drunk and high and floating and they can see silhouettes of somebody blue beside their brother

Allison is staring ahead at everybody, at nobody, her hands gripping a scotch bottle. Luther was holding their father's ashes, looking at the sky and the wind and he wonders just why he's left alone

Diego was looking ahead after he finished talking about the harsh things that he wanted to say for all of his life and only got a chance today

Grace is staring ahead, hands gripping at her son, her boy and she wonders if she can blurt out all the secrets in here and Pogo could not stop her, she hopes she can 

and Pogo looked ahead. kept quiet, kept all the secrets to the grave because that's that's what Reginald wanted and he is decent enough to obey the dead 

Vanya was crying, running out of the courtyard after Diego humiliated her, running out of the academy with nothing but what she had her leaving her jacket behind, leaving her pills behind and she never came back, never came back to the academy

The world ended

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am pumped for this month to end bc i cant wait to take my ten day writing break— well writing for fics bc i have seven papers due


	29. family bbq

Allison is a very mysterious girl, Ray would admit 

He would admit that he was smitten to the very lovely lady ever since he first saw her and when he had a chance on marrying the most wonderful girl in the world, he took it

but Ray would admit that he doesn't know anything about her family at all, so imagine his total shock when a big guy showed up at his front lawn asking for his wife, claiming to be his wife's brother 

And he doesn't know their relation but he doubt that the government will let them be brothers and sisters. then he met a boy from the jail, Klaus, which is apparently still his wife's brother 

_how many white brother does Allison have?_ he was intrigued and curious about their family and Allison's power 

he sat down next to his wife, asking who are your siblings and he can only listen as Allison described her siblings in vivid detail 

Luther is a big guy, bigger than you'll ever imagine. somebody so brute, somebody so strong but he has a good heart 

Diego is harsh and hard and appears as a fierce person, a person of color and the Ray was shocked, he was shocked to hear about Allison's brother 

Klaus is german, someone who can see ghosts. someone so loud and chaotic and honestly Ray is kind of scared of Klaus and what he could do 

then he heard of a Five. They have a brother named after a number, number Five And he could teleport and time travel and Ray had never heard of something more shocking than that

  
yet he thinks he should get ready because his wife could change reality with her voice. _what more is not possible?_

and Vanya, his wife's sister, sounds like the sweetest girl ever. Ray has no doubt that Vanya and Allison would be better. he hopes they get better because Allison looks sad yet happy as she talks about her sister

then Allison talked about Ben, a dead brother, a Korean, fought in the war he thinks is not their own but his own war, a war within himself and he lost and Ray hopes he could have met Ben because he sounds so great but he didn't 

  
and now he only has all this memories of Allison and her family as he let go of his wife, letting her go back to her own time because Ray is a lot of things but selfish is not one of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just hargreeves in rays pov bc why not


	30. ben

Ben was a very very quiet child 

growing up, he listened to all of his siblings and parents, he listened to his father, to Pogo, to Luther and to Diego

and then he died in a mission that is so botched up, so messed up, a trap and he can only watch as the bullet pierced to his skin _again and again and again and again_

and it all went away. the pain from releasing the horror went away and Ben has never felt more free when he was alive 

then Klaus called him. Klaus called him and Ben experienced adventure for the first time in his whole life 

his brother is not perfect. he is a lot of things, a manipulative bastard, an asshole with a potty mouth that would put sailors to shame and yet Ben knows that he tried his best, Klaus really did but even Ben understand why Klaus is the family's greatest disappointment because Klaus did nothing but disappoint people 

but yet Ben knew he was really trying but he doesn't know how because being a disappointment is the only thing that he learned 

Ben had the adventure of his life, spending 13 years together with his brother. seeing the mischief, the pain, the hardship and yet seeing the happiness, and the camaraderie, and the friendship build on what his brother does and Ben had hoped he could have experience anything at all when he was alive but he didn't and he learned to appreciate things as they are

  
Then he got thrown back into the 60s and he met a very beautiful girl and Ben has never felt more alive than ever and he had one chance with Jill. just one chance with Jill and Ben has never felt more with love as he was at that time

And then he had to leave because he had to save the world and if Ben that saving the world meant giving up, he would have never told Klaus some the things that he said but regret only comes moments after death and Ben regrets a lot of things but one of his most regretful things that he have done is dying twice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so justin min is bald now and if you follow me on twitter , you would know i went all out with the egg puns. but joking aside, i love his hairstyle


	31. sparrow academy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THATS A WRAP!!? yay for me and see you guys in 10 days

He built the sparrow academy not to be heroes because he saw what happens in the past

heroes, heroes lose and he doesn't want his kids to lose 

He named it after the academy that he almost built and yet it is nothing like the umbrella academy

His kids, his team brings fear to the whole town .they are nothing more than hard criminals killing and killing and killing and killing people

and Reginald doesn't think this is what happened the first time and yet he can do nothing but to make this like this because he doesn't want to do the same mistake that he did 

Sparrow academy was created with only himself but mind. he doesn't care about the kids at all, he doesn't care about the people at all. he just wants once what's the power

and if this is how he could get the power then he would get it in this way. There's someone god in his academy, someone who can turn into a thousand birds and Reginald had so much fun training her

There was someone had a tentacle in this stomach and Reginald knew he was more strong than he ever thought it was there was 

voodoo hurt himself to hurt other people and they can hold up never felt more alive

Reginald didn't know what he was getting into with getting the kids and yet he knows right now, at this moment that if the umbrella academy went back to their future, this future, the sparrow academy will be ready ready to kill them all and they wouldn't even know it not until it was too late


End file.
